A Compassionate Exploration of Grief
Grief is a universal human experience that each of us will endure in our lifetime. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the ending of a significant relationship, the loss of a job, moving away from home, or living with a change you never would have imagined, grief can impact us in a variety of different ways. Both death and non-death losses can impact our sense of self and our understanding of the world.
Understanding grief, the impact it can have, and how to make sense of grief can allow a grieving individual to feel seen in their experience. Grief is an individualized and complex process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve nor is there a timeline for how long an individual is supposed to grieve. In grieving, an individual is having a normal response to a significant change in their life. Below are some of the ways grief can impact us; it is not a full comprehensive list of grief responses and reactions. If you are experiencing a responseA not on this list please know that does not mean you are grieving incorrectly.
Emotional Responses
Increased feelings of Sadness, Anger, Irritability, Guilt, Anguish, Sorrow, Depression, and Hopelessness
Deep feelings of yearning; a yearning for the way things were before the grief, intense feelings of longing for the person or thing you’ve lost.
Mood swings: unexpected emotions can arise often causing highs and lows that can knock us off our feet.
Quick, sudden unpredictable feelings of sadness, yearning, and pain often called grief waves
Heightened anxiety; especially if we experienced a sudden death or unexpected change
Physical Responses
Changes in normal eating patterns or appetite
Sleep disturbances
Fatigue and exhaustion
Muscle aches and pains
Changes in our digestion
Feeling inflamed or puffy
Feeling stiff or tight in the joints and muscles
Cognitive Impacts
Confusion
Brain Fog and difficulty with concentration
Forgetfulness or trouble with memory recall
Difficulty in making decisions
Difficult staying present or grounded in the moment
Social and Behavioral Changes:
Experiencing anhedonia; a lack of enjoyment in usual activities and hobbies
Withdrawing from social activities or friends
Seeking more alone time or for others seeking more time with other grievers
Changes in relationships or losing relationships and supports
Engaging in numbing activities like increase substance use, gambling, overeating, over exercising, increased social media use, or increased sex
Spiritual Impact:
Questioning our beliefs: An individual may reject their prior spiritual or religious beliefs, they may feel wronged or betrayed by their prior spiritual or religious beliefs; or an individual may seek spiritual or religious reason and explanation for their grief.
Searching for Meaning: An individual may try to understand why this event happened to them or the purpose of the loss.
It is imperative to recognize that everyone grieves differently and the intensity and duration of symptoms will vary. Grief is not something that we move on from but rather something we move through and with. Meaning the grief we experience will stay with us and we will grow around our grief. With proper support, time, space, and rituals our grief can feel more manageable. By cultivating more open conversations about grief we can create a more understanding and empathetic community for grieving individuals to feel witnessed in their grief.
